At What Age Does a Child Get to Choose Which Parent to Live with in Tennessee?
Nov. 14, 2024
Child custody cases are often challenging for families. At Cynthia J. Bohn, Attorney at Law, I come across various questions from parents and children alike at my office in Nashville, Tennessee. One of the most common questions is "When can a child choose which parent they live with?"
The answer to this question depends on several factors since Tennessee law considers many aspects when determining custody arrangements. As a family law attorney with extensive experience in litigating custody matters, I aim to guide families through this process with care and attention to what’s right for the child.
The Role of the Court in Custody Decisions
In Tennessee, child custody decisions aren’t solely based on the child’s preference. While a child’s opinion is important, the court's primary goal is to make decisions that are in the best interests of the child.
The court considers numerous factors when determining custody, including the child’s relationship with each parent, their emotional and physical needs, and each parent’s ability to provide care and stability.
The court also takes into account the child’s safety and well-being. This means that any history of abuse, neglect, or other harmful behavior will significantly impact the court’s custody decision. In such cases, the child’s preference may carry less weight, as the court’s priority is always the child’s welfare.
The Child's Age
According to the Legal Resource Center on Violence Against Women, Tennessee Code § 36-6-106 states that the law doesn’t set a specific age at which a child can choose which parent to live with.
However, the court does consider the child’s age and maturity level when weighing their preference. Generally, older children, particularly those over the age of 12, are given more consideration in custody decisions.
I’ve found that the court assumes older children can better understand the implications of their choices, making their preferences more valuable in custody cases. However, even a teenager’s preference is not the sole deciding factor. It’s just one part of a larger evaluation that considers the child’s best interests.
How the Child's Wishes Are Considered
When a child expresses a preference about where they want to live, the court listens carefully. The process typically involves a private conversation between the judge and the child.
The judge will ask questions to determine whether the child’s preference is based on sound reasoning and whether any outside influence, such as a parent’s pressure, may be affecting their decision.
The court is cautious about putting children in difficult emotional situations, so these conversations are handled delicately. Judges are trained to assess whether a child’s preference reflects what they genuinely want, or if there’s underlying pressure. In my experience, a judge’s goal is always to make sure the child’s voice is heard without forcing them into uncomfortable positions.
What Other Factors Does the Court Consider?
In addition to a child's preference, Tennessee courts consider several other factors when making custody decisions. These factors help the court gain a full picture of what arrangement would be in the child’s best interests. Some key factors include:
The Emotional Ties Between the Child and Each Parent: The court will look at the strength of the child’s emotional bond with each parent. If the child has a closer, more supportive relationship with one parent, that factor can weigh heavily in custody decisions.
Each Parent’s Ability to Provide for the Child: The court examines each parent’s ability to meet the child’s needs, including financial stability, emotional support, and the ability to maintain a safe and nurturing environment. A parent’s work schedule, living arrangements, and support network all factor into this assessment.
The Child's Current Living Situation: Stability is a key consideration. Courts prefer to avoid unnecessary disruption to a child’s life, especially if they’re doing well in their current school or community. The judge will evaluate whether a change in living situation would cause emotional or academic upheaval.
Common Reasons a Child's Preferences Might Be Overruled
Although children may express a strong preference for living with one parent, the court sometimes chooses not to follow these wishes. The decision to overrule a child’s preference is often based on certain red flags, such as:
Evidence of Parental Manipulation: If there’s evidence that one parent is influencing the child’s decision for their own gain, the court may not honor the child’s wishes.
Concerns About Safety: If the child prefers to live with a parent who has a history of violence or neglect, the court will prioritize the child’s safety over their preference.
Lack of Sound Reasoning: If the child’s reasons for choosing a parent seem based on temporary emotions or preferences (like fewer household rules), the court may not give much weight to their choice or preferences.
These scenarios highlight why a child’s wishes are only one factor in a larger decision-making process. The court is responsible for evaluating the entire situation to determine what will serve the child’s long-term well-being.
Can a Child’s Preference Change Over Time?
It’s common for children’s preferences to change as they grow older. A child who once preferred living with one parent may later choose to live with the other as their relationship dynamics shift. In Tennessee, child custody orders can be modified if circumstances significantly change.
For example, if a teenager begins expressing a desire to live with the other parent after developing a stronger bond with them, or if their needs change due to schooling or social reasons, it’s possible to request a modification to the custody arrangement.
However, it’s important to demonstrate to the court that the change is in the child’s best interests and not just a temporary desire.
How to Handle Disagreements About Custody
Disagreements over custody are understandably emotional and can be difficult to resolve. If one parent disagrees with the child’s expressed preference or feels that the child is being unfairly influenced, this can complicate the custody process.
In these cases, the court will carefully examine all the relevant factors and may even appoint a guardian ad Litem to represent the child’s best interests during the proceedings.
If you’re facing a custody disagreement, it’s essential to approach the situation thoughtfully. Remaining calm and focusing on what’s best for your child will benefit your case and help preserve relationships.
I’ve seen that courts respond more positively when both parents demonstrate a willingness to prioritize the child’s welfare over personal conflicts.
The Role of a Family Law Attorney in Custody Disputes
As a family law attorney, I know how stressful custody disputes can be for parents. It’s essential to have the right legal support when handling such sensitive matters. I work closely with my clients to present a clear case to the court that’s based on the child’s best interests, whether that involves considering the child’s preference or challenging the other parent’s claims.
In many cases, families benefit from having legal guidance to handle the process and present evidence effectively. I provide personalized attention to each case, making sure that the child’s well-being is at the forefront of every decision.
By carefully evaluating the legal options and presenting strong arguments, I help my clients achieve the best outcomes for their families.
Contact Me If You’re Facing a Custody Dispute
I’m committed to guiding families through this process with care, keeping the focus on what’s best for the child. If you’re facing a custody dispute or have questions about your child’s preferences in a custody case, I’m here to help. I proudly serve clients from Davidson County, Sumner County, Wilson County, and Rutherford County. If you need family law assistance, call me at Cynthia J. Bohn, Attorney at Law, today.